Thursday, July 14, 2011

How do you like this beginning?

the first part was really good. just check your grammer. the second part of the prolugue was okay. but not great. when you describe the main character, just don't load it all at once. separate some of the details about daphne throughout the first few chapters. and going from her sister dying to daphne's description was a little too sudden. blend it a little.

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